Tuesday, August 2, 2011

I Wanna Grow Old With you



I was in thailand-It was march when she decided to leave their house and went far away. I planned-a lot more things to do, i want her, i love her and i wanna be with her,so i looked for a part time job to earn money to come back to philippines-it was about 3weeks while im in work- i worked hard even if i dont know how to handle it-i dont know if its work so. All i think about is her- i wanna see her,touch her,hug her and i wanna hear her voice- it's really hard cause i don't have phone to call her cause my granny doesnt give me the previledge to used phone to call someone else- i pleased her many times but she doesn't forgive me- i cried alone- i just sleep and hoping for granny's forgiveness- i said her one time again crying " i wanna talk to her granny! just give me atleast a minute just to talk with her-pleased" but i failed to get her attention-instead of giving me the phone-she used to lock me in my room-i was shocked-weak and lonely inside my room-while i keep on saying " do I deserve to have this kind of fuckin life?fuck god! why the hell did you make this to myself.i cursed you always, how do people pleased with you even they dont see you-me? dont ask me if i have faith in you cause all of my life since you make my life miserable-i start to hate you-im your sin and your my enimies." then i fall asleep.. i have dream that time- it was me in a street-walkin alone-while holding something- i dont know what it is-but i look like a weak and fragile man in my dream-maybe i am hoping for something to work out.but i always failed-i always end up crying.


After 3weeks-it was month of APRIL-i feel so excited- i have her number and all i have to do is to buy phone and sim-just to talk to her.i wanna meet her-i wanna see her smile.It was april 15-5:00 o'clock in the afternun-i was in the airport-i felt nervous and excitement-saying "yes!atlast-we will be together-when i was in the plane- i used to listened to my music and it was song title "i wanna grow old with you by westlife" i really loved to hear in that song-cause everytime i listend to it-i reminize those time we are spending all the hour in online at facebook-it was a happy moment she left me before she's gone. but i am still hoping to talk to her- i was cried and cried when my tears fall down into my chic-and i think of her all the time while i was traveling. how is she? did she eat well? is she safe? or did she make something just to be happy? i have really so many thoughts about her. then i fall asleep in the plane.....


When i was arrive-I am gladly to come back in my own country-is this philippines?I asked someone else-he answer "yup,are you foreign? I said "na,i am filipino-it was a year ago when i left this country,by the way thanks for the information-i was glad i came back here again-then the man smiled at me-saying "take care,there are so many strangers in this place." i said thanks in a louder voice cause the man is far away from me."okay sir,thanks again-same to you!"then i continue walking quickly- I envied to the other passengers, they all have sevens and relatives waiting to airport, but me? There is nothing with me that time, I never told my parents that i am going home,I'm sad but happy that I somehow, I just only think that i have to see her- i have to called her first.In an hour i am in our home- when i got there, it was my mum- She met me a slap in my face- it hurts but I admit it was my fault- She still don't forgot what prankly I could have done before she send me in thailand hell. But i admit-i accept all their blamed on me- i know and i understand them-  She can not really love me and treat as a real children. But it's okay- atleast she forgive me to stay at home even if she doesn't talk to me, all i think about is someone whom the reason why i get back home.


It was 8 o'clock in the evening-i am in my room thinking about her-i am about to give a call to her-it rang- ring,ring,ring- "hello?"said the girl in the other line-i stop-listen hard to that voice-a girl-a girl that was in my mind since the time i left my country- my heart beat fast-feeling nervous-ashame-blushing and excitement.It was her-am can't believe i am listening to her voice this time-it's like a dream so long ago that came for real and it's true-it's her voice and it's her soul speaking to me.It was the best-ever day of my life since i first listen to her voice-what else if we can see each other? maybe i will die-because of happinness.


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